I’m an Aquarius and my head is always in the clouds dreaming up crazy ideas and different career paths. I often fall short in the execution department because I’m also extremely sensitive and emotional and this has caused me to lose my way on countless occasions. Over the years I’ve learned to set up some guide posts to help me find my way back again. Usually it’s in moments of clarity that I’ll say, “Tashia, next time you get lost remember this….” I like to think it’s a bit like time travelling. I did a bit of reflecting on myself and my photography before deciding on the two main things I’m going to focus on for 2019.
Tread Lightly. Go with the flow.
It’s been a love affair for photography and I, much the same as a day time soap opera; senseless drama, emotion, styles and characters. After 8 years it’s safe to say I’m more in love than ever, but much like a marriage or growing up, it’s hard work to stay inspired, to stay focused and to not look for your worth anywhere but in your own heart. I’ve been trying to take a good photo for as long as I remember, but for the life of me I could not take a photo in focus if I tried! It was somewhere in my second year of university that I did this shoot with my niece Meah. I remember thinking that I needed to dig deep and really try, and If I couldn’t get some decent shots to work then I’d give up on photography. I got many out of that shoot, including this one, which is still one of my favourites to this day.
I tend take things pretty seriously, despite my best efforts to tread lightly, and I often question whether this is my purpose, whether photography is worth it, whether it positively contributes to humanity. #nochill That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself and a sure-fire way to suffocate your creative outlet. When you then try to pursue your passion as a career it gets even more heavy. In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book BIG MAGIC: Creative Living Beyond Fear she talks a lot about why that’s a bad idea. This book was a HUGE eye opener for me and had SO many take-aways as a creative trying to pursue my passion, and I highly recommend it to any entrepreneur or artist. Get it here: BIG MAGIC: Creative Living Beyond Fear. So when I find things are getting really heavy and I’m having trouble breathing, I’ve found it’s usually because I’m trying too hard and taking everything way too seriously. I’m learning to let go, and tread more lightly. Trust that I’m always exactly where I need to be. I’ll shift gears and focus on something else for awhile.
To try to avoid some of these pitfalls, I’m planning get-aways through out the year to keep me in check. I just had a beautiful spa-day with one of my besties at the Grotto Spa in Parksville, BC. They have a great winter special that includes a soak in the Grotto mineral pool, a 90 minute massage and paraffin foot wax, and then endless tapas in the Treetop lounge. Highly recommend it! I’m also planning more personal shoots. This blog post started as caption on a wedding photo I was posting to instagram. (It’s now become 5 different blog posts) It was a picture from my first wedding, after a 4 year hiatus. I stopped doing weddings because of burnout. I thought I’d fallen out of love with photography, but I was just burned out. I know now, I need creative and personal projects to keep the love alive. This photo represents the energy I hope to carry throughout the year.
I’ve struggled with depression since adolescence. This big angry ball of hellfire will pop up to greet me at the most inopportune times. Usually when I’m stressed and under pressure, or in the middle of scary but incredible opportunity, and then I release it in the most self-sabotaging ways. Not so great for the self employed. After reading some wonderful books and with the help of some wonderful friends, I’ve been working on healing my demons. We all have them, and it’s learning to understand where they’re from, how to recognize them, and how to handle them, that we can let them go. Let me know in the comments if you’re interested in hearing more about this, I could write for days about the pain body and where mine started and how it evolved. I’ve done a lot of work on this area of my life as it has been debilitating for most of it, but this post is about how I deal and plan to deal for 2019.
As mentioned above, I tend towards the serious. I also tend to the pessimistic side. Photography heals me, and my goal is that it heals you too. o
Forcing myself to stop and appreciate the small moments, whether it’s my family or yours, is good for my soul. I get to capture the magic between families, the good moments, the celebrations, and that makes me feel whole. I hang pictures all over our house and I can often be found just scrolling through my phone looking at pictures of these two. Like affirmations of my beautiful life. So whether you hire a professional or fill up your phone, document your good times. And make sure you’re in them too. (usually when you need to call me)
My plan for 2019 is to continue this healing journey. Mine and yours. For mine I’m going to continue with these blog posts, telling my story and sharing my life (comfort zone abandoned!) And I plan to participate in more shamanic healing from breath to plant medicine and as always, more reading and learning. *random side note: I had a dream the other night that I was in India, and there was a coyote biting my side but it wasn’t visible. There were 3 Indian men there. One told me the coyote was my story and I needed to get it out, and the other said “I will love you 100 times before you know it” and the 3rd was interrupted by James waking up and yelling for me.*
And for your healing, I’m doing empowerment sessions. My favourite emails are the ones I get from women telling me they’ve never seen themselves as beautiful, or haven’t for years and do now in my photographs. How their session was so empowering and they felt so alive. How the trickle down effect has been incredible in their lives and their confidence is through the roof. I’m offering birthday sessions, boudoir, family photos, and traditional studio portraits, and I hope to work with you this year. I’m looking at partnering these with some workshops, so let me know in the comments if this interests you. Let’s exerciiiiisse those demons! imagine my hands waving in the air like a proper evangelist
That’s mostly it, and yet a lot to maintain for me. I’m hoping to soften more this year, and trust in and focus on the good. Hope you’ll join me and follow along.